Thursday, September 11, 2008

Time to vent

I've always said I'm more emotional when I'm nursing a baby then when I'm actually pregnant, and for some reason today it's BAD. Today while both kids were sleeping, I actually had some time to lay down and try and take a nap. I usually tun on the TV, it helps me fall asleep, and an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 came on. I guess they were going back to the hospital where their sextuplets were born and showing the kids all these places they stayed in the NICU and where Jon & Kate lived right after the babies were out of the hospital. They were in a condo until their house was done being built. Kate was emotional saying that "it was the last time their lives were simple, when they only had a family of 4." After she said that, I was just overwhelmed because that's how my family is right now, and I in no way shape or form feel that my life is simple. I know I complain a lot to my friends how difficult it is to have two children now and how hard it is to go places and try and take both kids. But after I see their family, and how they enjoy taking their kids places because they want their children to experience everything they can, I can't help but feel guilty as I stay in my house and only go out to the park or what not because it's too hard still for me to take my children places. I know I'm not adjusted fully yet to having my two kids, but I certainly can not imagine having eight. I know it's kind of a silly comparison, but I think it's all just brought on right now because Chase is at such a difficult stage and age. He overwhelms me a lot and I need to stop and remember what's most important and the things he's doing at the time, are not. That being said, I know how important my family is to me and I know that I want more kids, I just can't imagine right now how it's all going to be. I just have to remember that things get better and how much I love them both!

7 comments:

Tristen said...

So having 8 is just over the top crazy, but that doesn't make having two any easier! For a long time after Corban was born I was so in love with him but was depressed and overwhelmed with life... not in a dramatic way, just overwhelmed. Hard to go places, hard at mealtimes, hard in so many ways to have a young toddler and an infant. Just to sit down and nurse while Avery tore my house to shreds was enough to bring me to tears many times. But I know it just doesn't help to hear it, but seriously one day at a time it gets so much better! I lived from nap to nap for at least 3 months and now I'm finally getting to the point where my days are happy and I can actually get out there. But most days the park is the only place we go, but HEY! The kids LOVE THAT PARK!! Save the hard outings for when Tim is home and NO GUILT! Thanks for venting, I feel exactly the same way so many times. Thanks!

Bean said...

Kids are not easy and there are times I just want to pull my hair out but, I couldn't live without each and every one. I love being a mother!!

Luke and Katie said...

Spoken like a true mom! I watched that very episode and was ALSO overwhelmed...for them. I think back to after I had Spencer and I was also overwhelmed and a little down. It is SO different having two kids (or more) than one. I'm glad that I am not the only one that feels that way--thanks for the rant!

Mary said...

Your spectacular and don't sell yourself short. You just need time to reconcile all the new things happening in your life. And sometimes it's hard.

Aaron & Carrie Warnick said...

Well I am not a parent so I can't say that I understand but anja you are a great mom! You do so much and I am sure with two it is really crazy! Your thoughts are not your own and between all the three people in your home that depend on you I am sure tension can build. But you are such a hard working mom and I don't think you'd trade them for anything. You go mommy! I think you are a great mom and kardyn and chase are lucky to have you!

Aaron & Carrie Warnick said...

Oh yeah tim is lucky to have you too! I miss you! P.s.her name is jamie and she works at cost cutters. Let me know how it goes.

soyandrue said...

Anja, it's time for an intervention! Bring Chase over for a playdate with Sophie some time -- and SOON -- so you can have time for yoga or yogurt or whatever!

P.S. -- I just saw the Hall's pictures of Tanner! And I saw you in the pictures, so I'm sure you have details! Be sure to share them with everyone tomorrow!